Exhausted

Today has been emotionally draining. The funeral was today. I made it through visitation but lost it as mom and sons said their good byes just before the service. Hard stuff man. The service was beautiful! You could not have asked for a better service. The pastor talked about clouds that we need to get through. Guilt; was there something we could have said or done that would have made a difference. Confusion; why? Anger; how could he have done that. What about the rest of us, his family? Then he shared how for him the anger quickly turned from Matt to the one who comes to steal, kill and destroy. For it was his lies and deception. For in those last moments it was his lies that said "life is not worth living." The pastor had to fly in for the funeral. He shared how it was dismal and raining at the airport. It looked bleak and felt depressing. At liftoff there was several minutes of strong turbulance. Then they broke above the clouds and there was blue sky...the brightest blue. And the sun was shining. He said the brightest he had ever remembered. He reminded us the clouds are real and so is the SON. Even if we can't see him in the midst of the storm, he is there. Shining upon us. We need to work through those clouds. Go through them. The whole time having hope in Him. Our hope is IN HIM.

I am exhausted. Time for bed. Remembering he is my hope today and forever.

Addition 3/13/06: I could not find this verse last night. Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit

That was the verse the widow choose for the sermon at the service