I haven't read many parenting books on the subject but I have been reading a dog book. I am beginning to think there are ages of testing. At least there are in dogs. Where they test limits. I think we have arrived at a new age in my son. While pleasent and cute...most of the time...he has started a new delayed reaction. Inwardly questioning "does mom mean what she says?" The answer to that question is Yes...most of the time. I consciencely think about what I say to my kids knowing that I will need to follow through. Yet there are times when I am occupied (be it the phone or computer) that they sneak things by me.
The last week I have been aware of this simmering defiance. Last night I had to take a stand. Rudeness and disrespect had reared there ugly heads. After a request to straighten up. He did. For about two minutes. Then he hit his sister. My follow through was to go to bed early. To which he cried and screamed and pleaded. He even pulled out the sympathy card of "I only want to spend time with you." (SIGH) Then all was silent. Which we all know can mean one of two things. 1. He fell asleep 2. He is brewing some trouble. My motherly instinct said to check it out. As I approached his door he was trying to walk out. Then he laid it on thick. The I love you's, I want to be with you, I will be good, please let me stay up. Tell me you have been here people. With a breif hug I told him I loved him too. Then I followed through. He cried some more. But then he came to a point where I think he realized that I did mean it. Because I did.
This morning we cuddled on the couch. Today is going to be better.
One last thing: Pastor Brad shared this with us on Sunday
Delayed obedience is disobedience.
2 comments:
In one of the books I am reading it talks about the importance of being honest with our children. For instance, when we are at the store and they child wants something. And we say, I can't afford that, i'm sorry.
But, the child continues to plead and reason with us.
Then somewhere deep inside we reason with ourselves and say, well maybe i can afford this.
Okay, you can get the toy.
What did the child learn, mommy said she couldn't afford it, but she can, all I have to do is plead with her more.
I'll try that next time too.
The foresight is the hard part. Thinking things out before we speak.
And then sticking to it.
It takes a strong person to follow through, and it's good that he learned a very valuable lesson. :)
Good for you! I can't imagine how difficult it must be to know that you can make his world "all better" by just giving in this once, but wisdom says his world will not be better later on! Great job mom! I'm glad to hear of the cuddle time the next day, too. Very valuable lessons...
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