In The Midst of a Fit
The fussing continued on for a bit. I put DD to bed. She got out. I disciplined. I put DS to bed. Returning to DD's room I went and sat on her bed. She looked at me with sad eyes and said "You make me sad!" I know. I took her hand and held it. She began to relax. The whining ceased; the crying stopped. Her face changed to contentment. I held her hand! I had to get up for a moment and I knew she didn't want me to go. I told her I would be right back. I went back in and held her hand some more. Her eyes fluttered. The rambunctious puppy joined us. And with one hand I held onto her and the other petted the dog and tried to calm her as well. It was a challenge but I stayed. I laid my head on her chest and listened to her heartbeat. The beat was fast. I kissed her cheek. Moments later; sleep cometh! Peace in the home.
This study is doing some refining in me. On Monday I had one of those days; days I refer to as Momzilla Days. The kind of day that brings out the worst in me! Frustration, lacking in patience, short in my tones and words. Momzilla! Then yesterday I lose my keys for what seemed like an eternity. Again frustration! The phrase this is driving me crazy kept coming to mind and out of my lips. I tried on my own for about 20 minutes to find them. Then I prayed. Then it took a whole hour longer to find them. After going to the bible study last night and receiving the teaching we did I can realize God is refining me. He is bringing out the worst to show me I am still capable of being ugly. There is still much to be improved. These trails are suppose to be there! They are revealing in me what needs to be changed. Ridding me of pretenses that I have it all together all the time. Keeping me humble? Beth Moore brought up the concept that those hard to deal with people are there for a reason. They are suppose to be! That it is not only for their benefit that we are in relationship. It is not just for the mature to teach the immaure. But God uses them in our lives to smooth out some of our rough edges. That we need these people in our lives. As she said and I quote "I need you to frustrate the devil out of me." There is conflict in relationships and this is a good thing. "Conflict plus commitment promts change."-Beth Moore We need that change. I need that change.
Thanks God for holding my hand when I am in the midst of a fit and bringing calm to my life.