Yesterday as I did my daily bible study the spirit shook within me. A trembling that I have learned it is best to not ignore. I responded in the way the spirit was leading, made the calls I needed to make, finished my study and revamped my talk to fit His purpose for sharing with the ladies. He called me to share my testimony to the 100+ women that attend my bible study. The trembling of the spirit continued throughout the day. Knowing the Holy Spirit was with me I was able to give the message that needed to be given. Obedience. I awaited the release. A release from this call. A purpose complete. I am still waiting.
Most of the night I thought and dreamt of the women that I am yet to give this message. Specfic faces and a specific place. Not a specific time. Upon talking to the lady in charge of this group it was concluded to trust and wait. Today is not that time.!? I am left on the verge of tears. I so desperately WANT RELEASE! I want this to be done, over, complete. I don't want to wait! I am called to trust, I do trust but I am struggling. I fear that the timing is today and that I may miss it. I can understand that this may not be the time. I can understand that the time may come. I can understand that God put us together as a body to work together for his Glory. For the wise seek the counsel of many. It is now taking that counsel and waiting. Patience waits.
So I await. Awaiting release.
4 comments:
Sarah,
Maybe there is someone out there that really needs to hear your talk and the way God has worked in your life and she can't make it to the original planned time. Let God take control of it, don't step in his way. The blessings of your talk are great and God is preparing the hearts of those to hear it, maybe they are just not ready for it...
Thanks Marcy!
Oh how I feel your pain !!
But I'll just encourage you by asking you to remember the butterfly - and how badly we'd like to peel away its cocoon so we could enjoy its beauty "ahead of time". Knowing that doing so would kill it - we wait - and let it become what God intends it to be and letting it live its own life in HIS time. I praise God for your commitment to Him and your sensitivity to His Spirit !
I had never really thought of it that way...I always felt a burden when the Lord gave me a message and misinterpreted that to mean that I should give it to anyone who'd listen right away. But hearing what you have to say about the pain of carrying the message until the Lord releases you, gives me a whole new perspective! AHHHH...patience may be a virtue, but it sucks! LOL...I feel your pain sister. But His timing is best. In the meantime, I'd encourage you to get it down on paper - type it out on a computer, whatever you need to do so it's not consuming you until you are released.
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