I mentioned here a week or so ago about the struggles I am facing with one strong-willed child. While I do believe she has always had the tendencies of a strong-willed child, I feel that they are most definitely taken to new heights in light of the current medical frustrations. I was talking with another mother at church on Sunday, her daughter saw the same specialist we are seeing next Monday. We talked about the doctor, what to expect and behavior. I asked her if she thought her daughter had acted out when she was out of control with her body. And her response was YES YES and YES. I asked what she did and while it sounds so simple, it seemed so profound at the same time. "We offered at lot of choices." More choices than normal. Giving the child a sense of control over reasonable aspects of their lives.
Without realizing it, I have been doing this. What do you want for breakfast? Where do you want to go? What do you want to do? What are you going to wear?
I have been trying to eliminate battles and sometimes choosing not to fight certain ones. Especially in the what will you wear department. And let me tell you people, we have had some interesting combos going on in this place. Most days, she starts out wearing WHATEVER she wants. Bright pink sweatpants with a purple striped shirt was the outfit of yesterday. We went out in public in it. Some days I ask her to change before we go out. Lately, I have not been even batting an eye. Check out what we went out in the other day. A beautiful black felt dress complete with burgundy flowers. White tights. Bright pink boots. A rainbow sweater. And a swim cap. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I went into Dick's Sporting Goods and Wal-Mart with this child and smiled all the way through the stores.
The old ladies especially gave me winks behind suppressed smiles. I kept smiling. One thing that you can say about my daughter is she has a sense of independence.
This is what little girl is wearing today. Hot pink sweat pants. A pretty pink floral skirt. And a white long sleeved t-shirt that says STAR in fraying sequence.
Yes, we all have choices and sometimes it is good to allow a little more than normal.
Sometimes the result is simply adorable.