Sunday, March 02, 2008

Character Development

Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, we are in the thick of character development.
It appears as though little girl is fighting for control. I think with everything that is going on with body right now she is feeling more and more out of control. And human nature screams to have control. It's tough stuff.
Prior to this current medical situation she was my strong willed, with a purpose kind of a child. I think she started out her fourth year on this earth thinking it revolved around her. Which I can relate to as I can clearly remember in third grade thinking that the world truly was run by ME. I remember thinking that it sure was a lot of work for everyone else to simply exist for ME. Of course reasoning came and I would not have choice to have this or that so maybe the world (gasp) did not revolve around me. A sad but great revelation.
As the year has played out we have been working on kindness toward others. Respect for others, especially those in authority. We were making good progress, or so it seemed. Enter this last month.
In the doctors office that first trip I saw a side of her never seen before. The "I am not going to do THAT", get out of my face, I will not do it Sam I am, I will NOT pee in a cup, NO Ma'am!
Then came the voice from within the my normally quiet in public child, was screaming at the top of her lungs that under No circumstances was she going to let them poke her with a needle. Who was this little girl? Well, by all physical and legal standing, this child is mine. The one birthed in my bedroom. Carried in my womb. But something was happening, still is happening. She was finding a voice of opinion, strong opinion. And while I found out from the doctor that this can be a good thing. A perpetrator would have a difficult time getting her to cooperate with some unwanted action. It is difficult as a parent.
It is boundaries 101 all over. She is testing and fighting boundaries all around. Not only with me but for the last 2 weeks she has been testing those in authority outside of the house. Our enrichment day with our home school co-op she has been blatenly disrespectful to the teachers. Telling them she does not need to listen to them. So frustrating.
There have been other fights for control. The oddest for me is her want/need to have the puke bowl with her every night. If you recall a month or so ago when we had one night of sickness. Enter the puke bowl. Handy to have in moments of sickness. Somewhere over the course of the last month she has taken to having it with her every night. Claiming she needs to have it near her, that she feels warm, or thinks she might get sick during the night. Yesterday when we cleaned her room, I took it out and put it out of reach. At bedtime she was super upset that she did not have. She woke up in the middle of the night, upset wanting the puke bowl. Not that she was sick, she just wanted it. Still this morning I had to hear about how she wants and needs it. I think it is all about her fighting to have control when she feels like her body is out of control. I understand that. Yet I can not let her rule this roost. I am still the parent and I need to maintain control of this household. Meaning right now we are in the thick of some serious character development. Yes we are.

1 comment:

Irritable Mother said...

Yes you are, indeed.
Sounds very similar to some of the stuff that goes on in my house...
Character Development God's way! *grin*