Monday, October 02, 2006

Critical Eye

Lately I have been blessed to be a part of some great things that God is doing. In some I have been prayer support, others a listening ear. Still others leadership. Right now I am called to lead in two completely different ways and groups. In one I can feel the prayer support. The team working together. In this I would say everything is going great and I feel very blessed to be a part of it! Then there is another group, in which I feel like I am under a critical eye. I feel like every decision I make, some one is watching and they have their opinions about it. Every activity, every praise and worship song, all discussions. Everything I say and do is being watched and critiqued. Like a test, although I am not sure I signed up for the course. I know I signed up for following after Christ, this I know. Is He testing me? Perhaps. In all honesty I feel like I have been thrust into a lions den, except they are not lions they are friends. People I love. Yet in my spirit, something is not right. What is it? I can not tell. Is it time to end the group? Or is Satan got a hand in it? Does it need to switch leadership? (Please Jesus!!) Do others need to step up and do their part? Do I walk away? Do I do anything? Do I do nothing? Do I pray without ceasing? Do I go on an extended fast? Do I wait until the end of the month? I think I am going to take it to the prayer closet. Me and God have a bit to sort out.

All prayers welcome!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You can be too religious you know - I worship a plant called Magna!!

Anonymous said...

I understand and I am sorry. I hope you sort it out. I hate it when I don't know whether I'm to trek on or stop....

Let me know "S" what you find out in the prayer closet.

BTW- On top of the 90 day bible study I am starting one at church (rather participating, sorry) called "Keeping a Princess Heart in a Not So Fairy Tale World" We'll see how I like it. One night a week I must do that study, and one night I do the one for sunday school (mostly reading ahead) and then the other 5 I do the 90 days study!