MTF's Musings of my Mind

I'm not exactly sure why I wait so long between posts but by the time I get back to the blog it appears there are so many thoughts that have been swirling around my mind, ready to get sorted out into coherent thoughts in print. Hold on, in no particular order, these are the most recent musings of my mind.

There are moments at work that I hear the phrase, "It's not my job!" Where someone has been asked to do something that they feel is not really their responsibility. I get it, I do. Yet a part of me doesn't, it is not really my mindset. I am a former home school teacher. As a homeschooler you never have the luxury of something not being your responsibility. The moment you decide to home school you are acutely aware that you are responsible for EVERYTHING! There is no curriculum committee, it is you spending hours upon hours, reviewing all the options. There is no administrative staff; all phone calls, orders, copies, medicine distributing, arrangements, appointments, it's on you. Discipline? The majority of the time it is you making a phone call to the dean of discipline, aka Dad. Yet there are times when it you that deals with it, in the moment. You are the field trip coordinator.  You spend hours prepping and preparing; Calling establishments and organizations, making the magical memories happen. Custodian? Ha! Let's be real, that is you all the way. Data? It is you analyzing your students progress. Deliberating painstakingly, if those curriculum choices, YOU MADE earlier in the year, are effective. Are they meeting needs? Are you seeing growth? Are your students engaged or bored out of their mind? What are the areas of struggle? How can you support each student to be successful? No intervention team, it's you. Then there is the actual act of teaching. The lesson plans. The time instructing. The grading. Repeat. How about the home school community, that we choose to participate in? More lesson plans, teaching a multitude of other kiddos(5-50), in whatever area of (sometimes)expertise or interest you may have.  At the end of the day it boils down to one main truth, success or failure, it comes down to your effort. It is your responsibility! Oh and let's just for a second talk about the pay. There is none, not even a tax deduction. In fact, it is YOU financing the bill of hundreds (possibly thousands) of dollars educating your children at home. So maybe it is just me but after being responsible for everything for ten years, I just assume whatever comes my way at work and embrace it because it is a small fraction of what I was responsible before. No fretting. No worries. Bring it, I got this, I was a home school teacher!

The elderly are beautiful! Today, my children's choir had the privilege of singing at a local nursing home. First, all the children sang for the residents in general care. Then, a smaller group went to the memory retention ward, where the Alzheimer patients were. These residents rarely receive as the head RN put it, entertainment. Immediately, you notice a difference in the cognitive level within this ward. Some have clear looks in their eyes, where others are clouded over, perhaps lost within their own minds. Yet when the children sang, they responded. Their faces brightened. Some tapped their feet, feeling the music. Some smiled. Another, slept through the entire thing. After the children finished singing, they greeted the residents. Speaking with them based on their ability. The church had provided a valentine craft for each resident in the building. The kids used this as an ice breaker to talk with each person they reached out to. They made the valentine for them. It was really rather sweet, watching these kids interact. A small group went off into the wards dining hall to make the craft and connect. I love the connection part of going to the nursing home. Some of the kids are shy but more so they are so open and uninhabited in their interactions with the elderly. The seniors just eat it up. They love having the children there. Each time we go, there are a few resident that make their mark in my mind. Today, it was Ed, Mary, and John. Ed and Mary have been married for nearly 67 years. 8 years ago she was diagnosed with Alzheimers. One year ago she came to the nursing home, every day he comes and visits her. He hasn't missed a day! Talk about the Notebook in living color. So sweet!   John? John was a sweet man that recently turned 102! Yet he looked more like he was in his 70's. I wonder all that he has seen in his life. I wonder what goes on in the mind of each of the residents in the memory ward. In a short amount of time I saw such a contrast of sadness and joy.

Update on my loss of consciousness: the chiropractor was pleasantly surprised that my neck did not show signs of trauma. In fact my neck and spine looked pretty great. Yeah! I went back to work the following Monday, armed with gatorade. It took a few days to get back to 100% but I got there. I am feeling pretty darn good these days. My son however did have a bout of the flu. He slept for a day straight, barely waking to take meds. Knock on wood, Formica, plastic, whatever is nearby, we are all healthy now and hopefully stay that way.

Our school appears to be the only school that has school on Monday. McCuse me! If anyone tries to rub this in, I may throat punch you and tell you Carla sent me. Please don't gloat! ;)

A huge shout out to my daughter, she earned her master badge in the make-up guild tonight. She can now crew head the make-up crew at our local theater. She has worked diligently towards this goal and I am super proud of her.

It is no secret that I love my Nepali family! In one week, some of my dearest friends will be moving to Pennsylvania. They are not just friends, they are family. To say they will be missed, is a huge understatement. I am so thankful for current technology that will allow me to facetime them and stay in touch. Today, I was able to chat with hajur ama and hajur baa on a smart phone. Such reassurance that we have this capability. When I think about the mark this family has made in my life, I tear up. When I think about the fact that they are moving 10 hours away rather than being just down the road, I feel sad. I know we are forever bonded. I know I will be making trips to their new home. I am already plotting when that trip can be made. I really wish I could take the week off so that I could go with them. Instead I will be helping load the U-haul and wishing them well. They are going to be so missed. I don't even want to think about the garden this summer without them. :(

The garden. What is it going to look like this year? With me working full time and mom's commitment to the Homeless Angels, it will probably look differently. Yet essentially carry on all the same. My plan is to do garden registration during Spring break while I have the week off. If weather allows, I hope to do the plotting that week as well. Sadly, this will be without my right hand man.

Without. Thursday, towards the end of my work day I found myself without my phone. I checked all the logical places it could be and it simply wasn't around. When I truly came to grasp this, it was time for dismissal. Not good. My responsibility for dismissal is to gather a group of kids and take them to their bus. I have to do this in a timely matter so I really did not have time to deal with it at that exact moment. As I went to make my first pick-up, I grabbed my daughters iPod and had her bring up the tracking feature to try and locate my phone. It was clear that it was somewhere in the building but I had no idea where and the battery was too low to send out the alarm. So I went about the dismissal process. As soon as all my kiddos were safely on their buses, I checked in to see if I could pinpoint where in the school my phone was. Except it was no longer in the school it was slowly and steadily moving away from the building. Ahhhh! Not cool, this could only mean one thing. A student stole my phone! So not cool! I watched it go...I could clearly see the direction in which it was moving. Do I chase after it? Ahhhh! I still had after school tutoring. What to do? I activated the lost mode, that shows a message on the main screen stating the phone is lost and allows you to add a contact phone number should it be found. I called the police. A little while later, my hubby called the school. He had received a phone call from someone that had my phone. The long short of it, the cousin ratted the guilty party out and it was now in the guardians hands. Phew! Off to tutoring knowing it was at least found. I had an address and a phone number. Hello my darling tutoring kids! After tutoring, I had a decision to make. Go to the address (in a sketchy neighborhood), go to the police station as they had not yet shown up to the school, or call to see if they were willing to meet me somewhere. At this point I did not know who had the phone. I did not feel safe going to the house! I also felt like I needed to follow-up with the initial call to the police. So I decided to go to the local precinct for advise. Only the local precinct apparently doesn't have office hours after 5pm. Ahhhh! They did however have two phones on the wall, a red one for emergencies and a brown one for non-emergencies. I picked up the brown one and spoke with the dispatcher. She found my initial call and transferred my location to the the precinct. She told me an officer would be there at their earliest convenience but they weren't sure how long it would take. Dispatch also advised me, "Do not go pick up the phone. Wait for the officer." Alrighty then! So I waited and waited and waited. We were late for theater. More waiting. After an hour, I picked up the brown phone again. The officer was in route and would be there in approximately 10 minutes. I saw the officer approach the door and then saw her walk back to her patrol car. I had to run after her. She took the report and said she would go retrieve the phone. Phew! She said she would bring it by my house sometime between 9-10pm if she was able to recover it. Yeah! Off to theater, better late than never. At this point I was pretty frustrated over the inconvenience. It was looking like it would all work out though. I came home from theater and decided to read to pass the time. I read and read and read some more. I was about to call it a night when the phone rang. The officer had my phone and was willing to drop it off if I was still up. Yeah! It turns out it was a FIRST GRADER that took my phone! I went from frustrated to disappointed which later turned to sadness. The officer spoke with the child, which I am thankful for. I hope it will be a turning point for this child. But the reality is, as the officer stated, this is probably just the beginning for this child. Perhaps it was a learned behavior from the adults in this child's life or as I believe is more likely, it is a result of neglect in the early years which has caused this young one to hold tight to anything they can get their hands on. This is not this kiddos first time with sticky fingers. They have taken things off peers desks, out of other kids back packs, school supplies and teachers property. My phone was probably the item of greatest value but it is really one item on a list of many. Will the visit from the police make an impact? I hope so. If it does, that afternoon of inconvenience was more than worth it. I pray for this child's sake, that it makes a difference. I am not even angry at this kiddo, just sad. The reality of my job is that not everything is as it seems. I have no idea what my kiddos have survived, what they face, what they have overcome...I must be vigilant and love them exactly where they are.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Hold your loved ones close. Tell them you love them. What you do makes a difference!

In a Foreign Land

My friend Rebecca was born and raised in Namibia, Africa. One of my favorite stories of her transition to America was when she asked for a pencil eraser during class because she had made a mistake on her paper. Her request, "May I have a rubber, please?" elicited many laughs as American English and British English collided. Even though she grew up speaking English her whole life she still encountered awkward moments as she applied it in a new and foreign land.
My baby girl is on her way to her own foreign land next week, public school. As I process all the changes that will take place, I can not help but wonder what awkward moments await my daughter as she enters this new and unfamiliar territory. The truth is she is speaks the language of school. She has been learning her whole life so the concepts of math assignments, reading and writing are not new. What will be new is what all that means within the confines of a 8am-3pm class room. Will she embarrass herself by not following the norms of school protocol? Maybe.
I am trying not to overwhelm her with a list of dos and don'ts. I am trying to let her experience this in her own way and time. At the moment she is excited. Willing to put her best foot forward and try her best.
This is also new territory for me. In writing that, the tears are filling my eyes overflowing. While I am excited to see my girl stretch her wings and fly. I am sad. Yesterday, she said ever so sweetly, "Mom, your going to miss me." and I started to sob ugly cry. Absolutely I am going to miss her. This sweet precious girl of mine and I have always been close. At times she has been my shadow. We have lived the first 11 years of her life always within arms reach, rarely out of earshot. I have often said, "The blessing of homeschooling is that you are always together." I have experienced each and every first. I know her strengths, her weaknesses. I know what brings her joy and what makes her angry. I know my daughter. And I know she is ready for this next step in her journey. But that does not mean it will be easy to let her go. I am going to have to trust. Trust God. Trust the school. Trust her teacher. Trust my daughter, which I do.
I have a feeling inquiring minds want to know, why. Why am I sending her to public school? Truth, we have had a great run of homeschooling. We have done some amazing things. I guess it boils down to this; adolescences is a hard time.  Rather than see us growing closer I have seen our relationship stressed. Ironically, the best thing about homeschooling can also be the hardest part. You are always together. An annoying classmate is one thing, but when you never get away from it, it's hard. I sense she needs a space of her own. Something to call her own. A reprieve from the current frustrations she is facing. Will it be forever? I don't know. I am looking it as the right decision for now. For the next 4 and a half months, this is what needs to happen. I just know that I love her enough to let her go and I have a God who is big enough to be with her wherever she goes.

Boxes of tissue appreciated as well as your prayers.

I Am Carrying On a Great Project and I Can Not Come Down!

One day last summer a couple of girls rode their bikes past our home. They stopped to chat with us.
The next day they came back. An hour later we had 10 kids in our back yard.
The next day we had 12. Upon finding out that we homeschool some asked if I would teach them during the Summer. I agreed.
Nearly everyday for the remainder of the Summer I had kids coming over. Most would do some sort of school. Some wanted to do Spelling, while others wanted challenges in Math. Others wanted to play basketball or skate. What they really wanted? Someone who cared about them. A safe place to play without worry. A snack and a friend.
So our family became the caring face and listening ear. Our home and yard became the safe place; we played basketball, let them ride our skates and our bikes. We would dish out snacks and we definitely made friends.
One girl in particular would stop by nearly every day. Before long I noticed a spark about her. I knew she had faith. One day the Holy Spirit nudged me to ask her what she prayed for. So I did. I will always remember her answer.
"I pray that my friends and I will be safe!"
I knew God had called me to open my home to these kids and I now I knew why. Our home, our family was a direct answer to her prayers.
Fall came. Kids went back to school. Temperatures dropped and the kids came around less and less.
All except Taylor!

She would come over every now and then. We had tea parties, played school and board games. Before long she was joining us on trips to the YMCA. So we helped her get a scholarship so that she could come with us every time. Eventually pretty much everywhere we went Taylor came too. And then Chi.
Chi started coming over with Taylor and we loved on her as well. Sharing meals, conversations, games, trips to the Y; life.

They have joined us on skiing trips, trips to the animal farms, parks, the circus and the Youth Gardening Conference.

Here is a picture of Taylor getting over her fear of snakes at Nature Discoveries Go Wild weekend.

These girls have become more than my neighbors, they are my adopted daughters.

I am carrying on a great project and it is this; TO LOVE MY FAMILY AND TRAIN THEM UP TO BE FULLY FUNCTIONING CITIZENS! AND TO LOVE MY NEIGHBORS! FEEDING THEM, LOVING THEM, TEACHING THEM, NURTURING THEM AND ACCEPTING THEM AS THEY ARE AS IF THEY WERE MY OWN.
I am carrying on a great project and I can not come down!
My desire for this year is to involve my new family in something productive and rewarding. So we will be starting a youth community garden a couple of blocks away from my house. Together we will dig up the earth, plant seeds, weed and water. We will see the fruits of our labor. I will pour into them in every way possible. I hope to teach them more than how a plant grows. I hope to show them how they too can grow into productive people. I hope to show them that they will be known by their actions as either good fruit or bad, the choice is theirs. I hope to see them succeed both in gardening and in life. The teacher in me hopes they will learn great things. The mother in me hopes they will know they are loved. The neighbor in me hopes we can be a positive light to our community.

Today in church I learned that Nehemiah was in the midst of rebuilding the wall, doing a great work that God called him to do, while others tried to call him away from the work. His response every time was, "I am carrying on a great project and cannot go(come) down." He kept to the work God called him to do and did not let the opposition steer him away.

I take from that this; I will not be called away from my calling to care for these kids. Be it two or twenty. Even when I get crazy looks and glances when I arrive somewhere with my "Gaggle of children." Even when I struggle to transport them to the various things we may do. Even when life happens and they go through hard times, especially then. Even when my garage door gets beat up from skates banging into it. Even when the pantry is thin. Even if our vegetables refuse to grow or the labor is hard.
Even then... I am carrying on a great project and I can not come down!

Temperaments!

No not tempers, temperaments. You know, Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric and Melancholic.
In my parenting class this week we were asked to figure out the temperament of each member of our family. We were given a list of strengths and weaknesses.
Sanguine- Enthusiastic, expressive, talkative, sense of humor, cheerful and bubbling over. Dominates conversations, interrupts, disorganized, self-centered and doesn't follow through.

Phlegmatic- Low-key, easy going, calm, cool, collected, patient, kind, steady, agreeable, mediates well. Appears lazy, lacks initiative, resists change, indecisive, procrastinates and stubborn.

Choleric- Born leader, decisive, dynamic, powerful, strong-willed, thrives on opposition, confident, quick to action and can run anything. Thinks they are never wrong, knows the right answer, holds others to a higher standard than themselves, won't admit when wrong, manipulative, impatient, bossy and must always be in control.

Melancholy- Deep, thoughtful, analytical, serious, purposeful, talented, creative, idealistic, self-sacrificing, schedule oriented, perfectionist, well organized. Judgmental, self-focused, easily depressed, takes things personally, negative in responses and puts unrealistic demands on others.

Right off it was easy to determine my children. My boy is Sanguine. My girl is Choleric.
Determining mine and my husband proved to be a little more tricky. We read and reread through the list and could not quite settle on one. Since Google is my friend ( I should hit Google up with a friend request on facebook) I Googled temperament test. Low and behold, there were free test online. I took this one here. The result was pretty much a blend of all four with 9 points for a Phlegmatic, 8 points for Choleric and 7 each for the other two. Which explains why I saw strengths and weaknesses of each in myself. Then hubby took it and was a solid Phlegmatic with a secondary in Melancholy.
Another test said I was Sanguine with a secondary in Phlegmatic. So I guess the verdict is still out on me.
Anyway, in class tonight we discussed how this plays out in the home. For example: My Choloric daughter has to "feel" like she has some control of situations. She must feel heard and understood. She is strong-willed and will assert herself. Just this week she was being disciplined and was told to sit on her bed. Dad gave no room for discussion and was swift in placing her there. For the next 20 minutes she repeated over and over, "Mom" "MOM" "Mooooom." "I want to talk to mommy." "Mommy do you hear me, come talk to me now." I did hear her yet under my husbands instruction was staying quiet. She was relentless. Once she realized she could not control daddy's decision she faught for control of any kind and started calling the dog.
The very next day we had a mini replay of the same scene. Where she repeated over and over, wanting to be heard. "I need to tell you something." Seems convient that everytime she is disciplined, she is bursting with things that she MUST say RIGHT THEN. It boils down to control. And she wants it.
Through this we realized something very important about our daughter. She needs to be heard. Unless she feels heard she can not, will not, listen to anything anyone else has to say. So my husband hit upon a brilliant idea. He said, "Go give her some paper and a pencil and have her write whatever she needs to say. Then go back in a couple minutes and get whatever she has written." It worked beautifully.
Her notes read, "Moms are the best"
"Mom I do love you."
"I love you mom rile mom i love you."
"My and you biy big mom"
Not the message I expect but from a voice that needed to be heard. Needless to say I think we will continue to implement this approach. Perhaps even a journal specifically for that purpose. In light of tempraments it helps knowing what their tendancies are and maybe some of the motivation behind it.
This site here was awesome in explaining the strenghs and weaknesses of each. It is set-up for adults but my friend and I quickly realized that parents can be interpreted for a kid to be in the family, at work would translate to at school and with friends is applicable at any age.

So how about you? What is your temprament? Your children's tempraments? How does this play out in your home?

Exclusive

My dear sweet four year old daughter is completely and totally exclusive. You are either on her list or your not. Who's on the list? Her immediate family, grandparents, aunts, one uncle and a few close friends. You can also tell if your on her A list, if....drum roll please, she talks to you. My first born can talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime. Little girl however is greatly pained if asked to say a peep to someone she doesn't know. Now, this has worked for her so far. Her cute little face and bashful head bow have been all she needed to get through any awkward moments. She simply hids away behind me or creates her own little bubble of non-communication.

For four and a half years I have allowed her to do so. I ask her to speak at times and sometimes (rarely) she will. Most of the times she gives a half giggle and ducks her head. After doing some learning and personality discussions I have learned that part of this is indeed who she is and how God made her. I however, will not be allowing her to take advantage of it any longer. Personally, I find it rude that she will not talk to people. As far as strangers go, yes I am thankful she is conscience about things. I am talking about other situations. Here are a few of them:
1.Mom introduces her to a new person. New person asks her name. I expect her to say Hello and say her name. If they ask how old she is, I expect her to tell them. They are no longer a stranger, Mom has made an introduction.
2. A waitress brings her meal, I expect her to say thank you.
3. The grocery clerk at the store. Many times little girl will use her own money to make a purchase. On such occasions I expect her to say thank you or have a good day to the clerk.
4. Other kids within her social circle, church or enrichment day, I would expect her to carry on a basic conversation with them.
Am I expecting too much?
For me this is part of character development and manners. I understand she feels shy in new circumstances. I understand she does not want to launch into a LONG conversation with new people. I also know my daughter is a bright, caring person, who once you are on her list she will talk you ear off. Carrying on full discussions about anything and everything. She will sing in front of you or dance. I see a side of her that is so outgoing and then there is the can not say peep if I don't know you.
I have decided that this is one battle I am ready to fight. I have always heard choose your battles wisely and the time has come that I am ready to fight this one.
In preparation we have been doing role playing. We have went through all sorts of scenarios. And one on one with me, she does fine. In real life those same scenarios are met with stone silence. I am done with it. I told her the next time she refused to speak to someone or thank them when mommy her asked to, she was going to have no TV for a couple days.
That day came today. While at the bowling alley watching the boy during summer camp, another mother (whom she has seen repeatedly over the last couple weeks,) gave her a ring from the 25 cent machine. Having only boys she decided to give it to my daughter, very nice of her. Little girl accepted it, with a little giggle and the head bow. I asked her to say thank you, to which she replied under her breathe that she didn't want to. I reminded her of the consequence and she debated. She said she would but when the time came she completely baulked, not once but twice. Then she ran crying out of the bowling alley.
I have stuck to my guns and she will not be watching TV for the next couple of days. I am taking the TV out of her room, this was the most upsetting. And she will not be getting it back until she can show me that she can be polite to others by speaking to them when required. I told her if it takes a year so be it. If it takes until Christmas, however long it takes, I am not backing down.

So, if you should see us in the near future. Please, help us practice speaking to others. Be patient. Be direct. And continue eye contact with her, even as she looks away. Please be gracious. We are really working on this and I know that she can do it. I also know it may take time.

Christmas Where?

Christmas. My mom's favorite holidays. As a kid she would go all out. Then one by one all four of us left the nest, got married and had kids. You know, changing family dynamics. We now had in-laws and our own kids to include in celebrations. For a while I think we tried getting everyone together Christmas for dinner. 19 of us, trying to match up schedules. Crazy.
My parents gave up having a gathering many years ago. Rather than try to get us all together on Christmas, they come to us. They love this for many reasons. One they get to see each grand child in their own home environment. They get to see the cool gadgets and joy. They get to spend time with each family in a more meaningful way. Rather than a crazy 2 hours with 19, they get more intimate moments.
I think for my mom the empty home on Christmas day was too empty. She went from 6 to 2. Sometimes quiet can be too quiet, especially on a holiday. So rather than sit at home feeling depressed, they decided to get out and spend their day with their children. They confirm schedules a month in advance, but by now it is a pretty set thing. My brothers first where they have hot coffee. They spend about 2 hours there and then they head over to our place. If they have not already had breakfast they have some with us. Oh, and more coffee for my dad. They spend a couple hours with us and then head over to my sister's where they spend the afternoon and have lunch with her family. Then my other sister's in the evening where they have dinner. Are you getting the picture that they eat well on Christmas? Trust me, they do.
Another nice thing about doing things separately, it cuts down on comparing. I know my mom takes great pains to be as fair as possible with her gift giving. By doing it separately she doesn't have to worry that she bought one $50 item for this grandson while spending $50 on 7 for another.
What I love about it is this; I feel like I get to celebrate with them. Not endure mass craziness for an hour or two. They get to see each gift opened. Each expression. Impromptu dances, that may not have occurred had they been somewhere else with many spectators. They see each kid, at home, without restraint. They see how each of their kids are making memories for their own and they are a part of it.
For my family Christmas doesn't end when grandma and grandpa leave. It is out the door and on to the in-laws to celebrate with them.

Attached at the Hip

I made mention before of the many friendships that have shaped my life. It never ceases to amaze me. I have been blessed in relationships.
I do not fully understand the ebb and flow of them. How I have been SO close to a person and then a gradual distance happens. Before I know it what used to be a daily connection drifts to months and in some cases even years. It had been many many years since I had seen or talked to Jen. Jen was my best friend in high school. Closer than close can be. Both of our parents adopted the other and I practically lived at her house. After high school we went separate ways. She was the maid of honor in my wedding and then after that it was pretty sporadic when we would see each other. We hit highlights for the most part. Then silence. Years pasted. It did not take much for me to think of her. Her fingerprints are all over my life and there is TOO MUCH shared life to ever forget. A song could come on the radio and I instantly think of her. I can drive by an old hangout or be near her childhood home and of course can not help but think of her. By the time I am back home, I have forgotten that I want to connect and so it goes for years.
Until one day a few days ago when I get a call. It's Jen.
Yesterday, we hung out all afternoon and evening together and we talked so late into the night that she spent the night. We got caught up on all that has happened in life. It was evident how we had matured and grown but the core of who we are is the same. Jen is Jen. She can make me laugh with a single expression. She is intelligent and fun. We can have meaningful conversations and go deep. She still has her contagious laugh and her devious smile. And when she says something "I know what she means." The flashback has been fun. The reminiscing of old friends and things we have done. Places we have gone. Good times.

Love ya Jen! Always have and always will!


I leave you with this picture. It is of one of my favorite days. The two-headed fat farmer. I told you we were attached at the hip. In more ways than one.

Sunshine and Cold

Looking out the window it looks absolutely beautiful. You walk outside and reality hits, it's still cold. Oh well. It is not officially spring...yet.

Last night the family met our best man's new baby. Healthy, sweet and cute. Very mild manored. Although he does make some outrageous sounds for one so young. :P I like newborns but I think I am glad to be out of this stage. Each stage is precious in it's own right as well as have it's challenges. Yup, I am ok with being done with the new born stage. Definitely done with diapers.

Pondering. I am an extrovert. Social. Outgoing. I like people and staying connected. I am in an odd phase in life, perhaps it is the unusual busyness I have found myself in lately. But I am not reaching out to connect with my friends as much. Some have picked up my slack and made efforts to call me periodically and check in. Others, most likely my introvert friends, it seems like I have not connected with in ages. Too long. Perhaps it is time for a ladies night at my house. A reconnection. To my ladies, I am not intentionally ignoring anyone, I am not mad at anyone, I really care deeply for each of you. Thanks for your patience with me. And by all means give me a call, I would love to hear from you. Read between the lines here: I will make time to connect with you. I am struggling to prioritize and thus relationships are touch and go. This is temporary. Seriously we should think about a Ladies Night, let me know if your in.

On speeding. If it were not for speed limit signs and the occasional police officer I would lose track of my speed and go over the limit. It is a complete unconscience thing. Drive...drive...drive...oh speed limit sign...oh I am going 5 over...back down...drive...drive...drive...hey Mr police officer ahead...4 over...back down. I try to remember to keep a constant gauge of my speed but I usually need reminders. And left on the highway I can unintentionally go 10 over in a matter of seconds. It is nice now my son is learning to read signs he will let me know what the speed limit is. Thankfully he has not quite mastered the speedometer. Perhaps when he does I will not have to worry about it any more. I will have a governor in the car.

Last night before bed, hubby and I worked out a plan to get us both to the gym in the morning. I would get up and go, when I returned he would go. Normally I am awake by 7am, this morning 7:22 was the first time I lifted my head. and I swiftly put it back down. I was not realy excited about going. I rolled over, trying to go back to sleep. When hubby stirred I told him to go ahead, that I would take a day off. My quads and calves were screaming at me yesterday and I thought I will take a recovery day. He said he was sleeping in as planned and that I should go to the gym. I laid there for a few more minutes and realized that I need to build muscle memory and if I took the day off it would probably not be to my benefit. So I got up and went to the gym. I ran 1.5 miles. I am glad I did. It felt good. Now tomorrow I can take as my day of rest.

Soon we will be off for the maple syrup festival, maybe we will see you there.